"One pair of horses runs away. Without fault." : Handling Negativy & Jealousy

To all the souls pushing forward, stay committed.

I think this can be an unpopular topic because we can easily fall victim to it or we can be on the receiving end. I don't like to use the word victim because you're not a victim, you're not disempowered but rather this is teaching you empowerment and helping you trust your inner-guide.

I put writing this article aside until I had someone ask me for advice via a DM and it became a subject of matter amongst my fellow practitioner peers.

There's also a shame around being jealous or envious and if you're the victim of it and talk about it, then there's the unpopular and false stigma that you're vain. No, you're not full of yourself and your feelings are valid. Although I talk about jealousy + envy, this is also applicable to negativity thrown at you through hateful comments or behavior. 

I remember I tried researching articles or blog posts to discover more about being on the receiving end of it only to find one where the writer briefly spoke about her experience. And yes, there may be tons of psychology articles on the topic but I was looking for a more spiritual approach to it.

I had the most rewarding opportunity to meet an incredibly talented i-ching man. An old man in his late 90s who only spoke Cantonese so my session with him was through a translator but he was clearly a master of his craft. He told me so many important things, validated crucial things about my life but also mentioned that throughout my life, I will attract a lot of jealousy. He continued to say that I must be mindful of the friends I chose to have in my life and although I shouldn't worry about it, I should be cautious and protective.

From the Vedic astrological perspective, I have my sun in the second house in Rohini nakshatra which aspects Jyestha nakshatra in Scorpio. In the Vedas, Alakshmi who rules Jyestha was written to be jealous of her little sister, Lakshmi Ma who rules over Rohini. Jyestha is the scarcity, the lack while Rohini represents abundance from within. (Hold on to this because I will circle back to it in a way that is beneficial to all.)

Sure, I've struggled with severe cases of copycats in my adolescence up until college. I had a former friend literally rip off my personality, my interests, my style, even down to how I did my makeup. I ignored it all because the friendship ended due to toxicity but it felt like my identity was being robbed.

Whoever said "imitation is the most sincere of flattery" didn't seem to touch on the topic of when it crosses a line and becomes unhealthy. There is a huge difference between being inspired by someone, which is okay, and wanting to wear someones' skin.

Fast forward to last November where things went haywire for me in this arena. I was always taught to notice the people who come into your life, the pattern that is presented in order for you to learn something significant. I started to attract people in the spiritual community who became problematic. At first, they would overstep their boundaries with me not respecting my energetic space. It became creepy, they would have an air of random competitiveness where instead of uplifting one another, they would focus their attention at me with a sole mission to cut me out of this imaginary race. Yes, there would be copying but there's a huge difference between being inspired by someone and giving them due credit and just blatantly mimicking someone's expression in order to profit or for personal, selfish gains. It wouldn't be limited to that but sometimes I would get haters who would just follow me on my socials to send negativity but are quick to ask me what tools I use or how I do what I do. It became this unhealthy, "I can do you better than you can do yourself."

The most hurtful part is that it also came in the form of former mentors trying to sabotage me when they started to see me succeed.

There are energetic consequences too. When you are on the receiving end, you can feel sapped and drained because when someone focuses on your energy too much, they start to take your essence. Just a little bit. It's not all of you and that's why it's so important to call your power back and to put up strong energetic boundaries. The more you start to believe that they can't harm you or interfere with your energy, the more you become impermeable. That's why it's so incredibly important to be fearless. 

When I do energy healing sessions on clients and they are enduring something similar, I often see an unhealthy chord coming from the chakra that is behind their neck.

TIP: When you bubble yourself up, use a crystal! I recommend the golden sheen obsidian crystal. See yourself grounding like a tree trunk and then visualize yourself putting on metal armor and a metal helmet to protect your chest, your neck, and your head. I also like to see light reflecting outward from the bubble to go towards anything negative that may come towards you.

The other thing that is worth mentioning is how often feelings can be hurt at the expense of others' insecurities. About a few months ago, I had a stranger (stranger because I only met this person once in person) became eager to know about the personal details of my life and smiled when she found out that my boyfriend and I ended our relationship, making it a point to call our relationship stupid.

I was taught that the more your light continues to shine and expand, the larger a shadow is cast. This is the lesson in itself. Some people lack this light and this desire to have a similar light, manifests in the form of jealousy, hate or resentment. Everyone can find the light within themselves and that is in itself the transmutation of their inner shadow.

All those negative emotions that cast a low vibration are meant to teach you something. Why do you feel like that? What is being triggered? Often what we are jealous of in another is meant to question what we feel like we lack. It's meant to put us on the right direction towards going after our heart-centered purpose. 

"Better than anything else, jealousy will shine a spotlight on your trigger points, your insecurities, your fears, and your mis-aligned beliefs. When faced with the experience of jealousy, ask yourself: What is this bringing up for me?

Jealousy offers the gift of awareness and self-discovery. Jealousy gives us the opportunity to listen to ourselves and understand the inner workings of our own thoughts and feelings." - Laüra Hollick

I recommend reading her article which is incredibly insightful: https://www.laurahollick.com/2016/01/the-10-spiritual-lessons-of-jealousy/

TIP: Seek relationships, experiences and thoughts that make you feel expansive. Negativity can also come in the form of arrogance, ignroance and/or someone making you feel less-than, like you're constantly wrong, or like you're walking on egg-shells and aren't able to be your true self. These are very limiting qualities. If the person isn't acting out of a place of integrity, then walk away from the relationship.

For those who are on the receiving end of things, you are meant to learn something from this experience. If you are bothered by it, there's a need to find a sense of empowerement and question why it moves you off balance. When we react and are disturbed by it, it usually comes out of a place of fear.

From my personal experience, when it comes to jealousy you are cutting chords from them and relenqueshing past-life servitude contracts. How are you sacrificing your personal needs to accomodate other people?

TIP: Practice on disciplining your mind. Focus your energy and your thoughts towards things, people, and experiences that make you feel expansive and can enable a sense of growth. Focus on yourself and on moving forward. It's not selfish to focus on yourself. Practice saying, "no!"

Remember the story of the Rohini and Jyestha nakshatras? There is a medicine to acquire from this. What you seek and crave is often within yourself. Rohini's abudance comes from within and Jyestha is often acting out of a survivalist mentality. This lack mentality is what often makes Jyestha's the financial wealthiest nakshatra among the lunar mansions. Focus your attention not on what others have but on what you want for yourself.

I recommend checking out Claire Nakti's channel and her videos on Rohini and Jyestha.

I drew a beautiful message from the i-ching. Hexagram 61 (Inner Trust) and Line 4:

"To remain consistent with your own truth is not easy. To correct this, be like a horse that pulls the plow straight ahead, bearing its burden resolutely and refusing to glance sideways, even to its mate, while the work is in progress. Don’t be distracted by trendy fashions and cliques; instead, dig down deeply, and your field will yield a bountiful harvest."

https://divination.com/iching/lookup/61-2/

Image by Daniel Frei Photography // Pinterest