Essence Beneath Consciousness
In Buddhism, the word “soul” is used sparingly because soul is the eight level of consciousness, or alaya, or storehouse consciousness. Instead the belief that consciousness is what is carried over, the memories, wisdom and experience from all the prior lifetimes, in an ever flowing movement forward.
But I still believe we can access our eight consciousness, our “soul.”
We do it every time we connect to our higher selves.
And within these higher selves lay the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine aspects of ourselves, forever expanding individually, forever intermingling into a transcendent state of Oneness.
We’re never going to stop acknowledging it, and when we think we’ve mastered a new revelation, we only plummet even deeper into its absolute form of essence.
A few days ago right before Venus entered retrograde, I entered into two profound dreams.
The first night, I dreamt of my Divine Masculine all in a cooling and comforting darkness. It’s emotional vulnerability defined through its strength. It’s ambiguity and shapelessness. It’s ability to dance freely in between a cosmic void and a tangible realm. It’s free-spirited and passionate drive to achieve all regardless of the cost.
In the dream I was driving a broken down pick-up truck and it wasn’t good enough for me. I exited and walked towards a Mercedes-Benz AMG Vision Gran Turismo. I pushed the window down, kissed my middle finger and flipped off a person that has doubted me in my adolescence. I drove forward in confidence and I woke up.
“Fortune favors the bold,” has been following me.
My physical body is more familiar with the consciousness of my Divine Masculine but there’s been a push to reconnect and honor this side of myself.
However, the night I dreamt about my Divine Feminine still confounds me to this day.
Whereas my DM dream was in darkness, my DF dream was enveloped in golden light. All throughout I felt myself as this source of being, this light, ethereal entity. I had this quiet strength found in silence and all throughout I was being owned by both men interested in me and men who hated me.
I never voiced myself but allowed my hand to be held and led by people who thought they knew what was in my best interest, by people who wanted to own something grander than them.
And when I encountered men who hated me, it was bizarre because I saw that it was done out of love, because they thought I couldn’t handle it, or that I was a careless and naive child who needed to be looked after. Or simply because they couldn’t have me.
Yet throughout the dream I knew that the only person who could truly handle the chaos was myself.
The most fascinating thing is that my DF remains an enigma but throughout the past 5 years I’ve been unraveling it and connecting profoundly to it.
It’s been so revealing as I’ve encountered so many obstacles with romantic partnerships, male bosses, colleagues, classmates that all reflect that pattern in my dream.
I continue to be in awe as to how powerful we all truly are when we are connected to our purest essence beyond what the consciousness holds.