Define Success

An idea as arbitrary as love, and as controversial guiding light in the unknown of our life. Success came up in conversation with an old figure from my past recently, and I felt the need to clarify this in order to strip our lives from the need to pursue the fabrication of an idea that we so often allow to define us.

To be transparent, this person expressed how he categorizes women as sex objects based on their lack of success and lack of ambition, and reserves ‘successful’ women as dating material. It’s true that we have the right to have our preferences for a significant other, but I always hope people are more insightful than just surface level delusions.
The notion was humorous to me because success is like beauty, it truly is in the eye of the beholder. And to be frank, some people simply are blind to it.

I hope this eases anyone who stumbles upon this post with the two points I want to bring up.

One is that to be successful indicates privilege. Let’s be frank, there are so many people who struggle throughout their lives with horrible circumstances, like racism, poverty, abuse, and who do not have the necessary resources in order to succeed. These are the people who had to prioritize survival before all else. Their success may be immediate but it is often delayed. Are they not successful?

The second point is that success is meant to be personally fulfilling and the moment you begin to create a hierarchy of success through comparisons, then it is no longer authentic. I often see that the people who cling to the idea of success are those who are constantly drawing comparisons between themselves and those around them. Those who cling to an unhealthy view of success are obsessed with the pursuit of materialistic happiness instead of allowing the finances to be a by product.

Whatever it is that you do, I hope it nourishes your soul. I hope it is authentic to you and know that I’ve encountered people who are seen as ‘typically successful’ but who are truly not happy. Seek happiness above all else and the rest will always follow through.