Cherish the Feminine

A woman’s sensuality and purity both honor the sanctity of her domain.
Women are both sexual and saintly.
Women hold both darkness and light within, both creators and destroyers.

If a woman honors her body and keeps a man out, then she is prude and callous.
If a woman honors her body and invites a man in to experience her sensuality, then she is seen as promiscuous.

It’s time to discard the outdated idea that women are seen as commodities, as only a subservient piece of meat meant to be passed away and discarded at ones’ convenience.

No one is entitled to a woman’s body, her voice and mind.

Women shouldn’t be seen as transactional, as floating pillows only meant to offer emotional support when there is none.

Toxic masculinity vilifies emotional accountability, emotional independence, and most importantly vulnerability.

I couldn’t help but think about all the situations I’ve been involved in where I’ve been conditioned to believe it was normal.
Earlier this week, I was confronted by a male friend who tried to keep every line ambiguous and had the outlandish expectation that a catch-up over the generosity of dinner was in exchange for something else. The aftermath of angry text messages because I had said no, drew my boundaries and stood up for myself. The conversation always ends with an insult on my physical appearance because I hurt his ego.

And then my mind spiraled into the past of all the hurt egos and how society defends their fragile selves and proclaims the female as the crazy villain.

I remember calling out a well-known male player on his hypocrisy. If he sleeps around with X amount of girls, then he’s a champion. If a female did the same, then she’s an easy slut.

What about the boy-talk after a night out in town? I can’t be the only one whose heard these comments before. I can’t forget a guy saying he wouldn’t touch another girl with a ten-foot pole, despite his notorious reputation for playing the field.

Or the time in college I broke up with a boyfriend (who cheated!), only to get alerted about his activity on my Facebook wall (so important to a college student in the 2010s). I remember reading all the slanderous comments filled with lies about my health, sexuality and personal life….only to be so defended by his male friends. “Oh, just give him a break!”
…
It makes the Texas abortion ban even less surprising, especially when I hear men complain about it and preach about justice and gender equality.
And I know I shouldn’t generalize an entire gender, but even the good guys can be wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Gender inequality is so engrained in our society, it will become decades of unraveling and healing.

The most we can do is begin to recognize it in others and in ourselves.
(And this includes the women that abandon long-term friendships for a guy met only a week ago. Let’s put aside the lie we’ve been conditioned to believe that we need another human being to help us feel whole and that a woman’s survival is contingent upon another person.)

Thumbnail image 📸: Cosmic Love by GravityGlitch