Compassion Fatigue: A Further Sentiment on the Development of Forgiveness

There is such a thing as compassion fatigue. Those that fall under the empathetic umbrella hold a tendency to experience guilt for their inability to empathize with everyone. When religious institutions and spiritual organizations base a lot of their practices on the necessity to forgive all regardless of circumstances, it can drive individuals to feel incapacitated. I used to feel like this at times, as if I wasn’t a good enough person because I couldn’t forgive someone who continuously does heinous deeds.

But there is such a thing as compassion fatigue, to become utterly depleted by attempting to understand why an individual refuses to seek accountability. It becomes repetitive, to see the same types of people, year after year, frustrate others with their insecurities, and time after time, it becomes excusable because the right people around them enable it.

Just a reminder that you have the choice to exit this scenario with the simple understanding that “hurt people hurt people” and there are some that are beyond your help. We tend to exert our empathy onto others for specific reasons, maybe it's our profession, or due to conditioning (for better or worse), but it’s best to focus that empathy back onto ourselves instead of carrying an unfair burden of guilt.

But it doesn’t mean you should lose yourself to the anguish of others and their emotions.The truth of the matter is we are not born saints, we are not born sinners. We condemn ourselves when we allow our choices to be influenced by pain. We burn our hope alive when we allow our feelings to be influenced by perverse sentiments. We need our hope to see the potential in what could be. My biggest frustration came through an observation I understood well in college; people get in the way of their own happiness.

As an english literature student, my development of the novel course exposed me to this thematic principle introduced into almost every plot throughout its history. At what lengths will a character go to pursue their own idea of happiness, and at what cost? It became a study on the delusionment of the character. (You can also see this in Madame Bovary’s selfish path for happiness used as a cautionary tale by Flaubert for his female readers.)

But I digress. 

My desire to speak on compassion fatigue, self-compassion, and my personal development of forgiveness is a direct result of emotionally processing the imbalances of my life through the injustices of my past. And while it is unbelievably difficult to empathize with everyone, to see eye-to-eye with people who won’t even look you in your eyes (even metaphorically speaking), who truly do not deserve to be reasoned with because they reject all rationale, don’t lose yourself in their battle.

The one and only facet of myself that I treasure and wouldn’t trade in the world is my heart. You can’t buy an open heart, you can’t steal it through selfish motives. The way I see through my heart is through understanding how those in pain have felt outcasted, misunderstood, and judged. But we all have limits.

Don’t lose yourself in their battles because after all, you are the embodiment of your unprocessed emotions, your obsessions, your fears if you can’t empathize and accept them.