why speaking about bullying matters…

Watching my TikTok feed ablaze by heather and Aubreigh Wyatt posts is triggering for me.

Aubreigh took her own life at the young age of 13 due to years of relentless bullying done by four girls. even after she took her own life, her bullies made a video mocking her death just to post it online for her mother and family members and friends to relive the horror and the agony of what it means to permanently lose someone.

bullying is a sensitive topic for me, as I was significantly bullied for years. and even by the person who claimed to be a best friend. I was bullied by a grown-ass teacher in school. all of this is emotional, mental and physical abuse. it is traumatizing. it shapes you for the worst and you continue to live your life as the defeated version of yourself because people want to see you like that. You learn how to cope with the pain from it all, and you develop courage in order to re-build yourself.

recently, the bullies' family members sued the victim's mom to take down her social media (among other things.) it's unfortunate. that social media account served as a platform for the mom, heather, to document her grieving process and to spread awareness on suicide and bullying. I've been following her account for a while and see A LOT of comments of kids seeing they were contemplating it and are deciding against it because they don't want to see their mom grieve like this.

it's not right to bully and doxx the bullies themselves. it's unfortunate that the main bully's dad holds power as a superintendent at a neighboring school district, and they are affluent enough to hire lawyers. heather is a single mom on a teacher's salary and is asking for donations.

however, due justice and accountability must happen. I'm in my 30's and it's sad to see the same bullying behavior happen when I run into my high school bullies in public. I've had conversations where some have asked me to stop speaking about it because they claim it never happened. I've seen and have been told by some themselves of how their behavior has escalated, how they harm others. I've seen it escalate into racist and misogynistic comments. my trichotillomania (caused by severe trauma) was also a target.

it takes self-awareness to become accountable and feel responsible. but i hope both the bullies and their parents come to terms with the reality and the truth of all that occurred. i hope the bullies are held accountable for their actions. if the dad is abusing his position as super intendent, then there is a conflict of interest there.
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but at the end of the day, bullying is hateful. it's self-hatred that is projected onto others.
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"HATE is when fear fills my belly and wakes up the child that was asleep in the dark. The child says 'protect me' and my mouth opens to let the fear out. It grows into a giant that breaks everything it touches and spreads fear everywhere it goes." - marion costentin

and to the one girl from high school, who while I was at my lowest of lows in college, apologized for her behavior in high school, i give the most profound and sincerest gratitude. because you don't live as a ghost in my life.